To my grandfather

I miss my teacher 

Every Sunday my teacher and I would have our weekly Sunday brunch. I would make breakfast and we would share the morning together. I would sit with my ears open as he gave his enlightening lectures: generously sharing years of wisdom and knowledge and laying the landscape of life which he also termed the “system”. When I moved away, I no longer spent the week thinking of creative ways to make our brunches special, or went to bed with excitement Saturday, knowing Sunday I would make something with my hands and heart to nourish and feed someones soul. I looked up to my teacher in so many ways. He was a perfect example of hard work and persistence. I remember he would preach about being the God of his universe. He would say with cocked finger pointed towards me “you're a god, I'm a god we are all God’s, because we are all the center of our own universe”. I’m just happy that I got to be a part of his universe.

I miss my Friend 

What a Friend I had. My friend accepted me for who I am; he didn’t need to say anything, but just knowing my friend was there with no prejudice or pretense is enough. He was the kind of friend that was there for you. When your heart was heavy and your spirit was low my friend was there. He would would see value in my existence, when I failed to. It was the smallest gesture that hugged my heart  the most. If he hadn’t heard from me all day he would poke his head in my room to make sure I was ok.We kept each other company, we didn't have to say anything. The warmth of being swaddled in each others presence was enough.

I miss my grandfather 

After living with my Grandfather for three years we developed a bond or tether. When loneliness was the demise of my spirit I could grab hold of that tether and I wouldn’t feel so lonely anymore for I knew there was someone on the other end. Now when I reach for that tether I know there won't be anyone there. But then I remember what my grandfather taught me and how fortunate I was to be one of his students, his friend and granddaughter. He would be so disappointed if I let his passing push me into limbo. So, for now i’m just going to miss him. 

-portia