Expectations and Reality

What is the first thing you think about when you hear the word “EXPECTATION”? It’s fine I’ll wait... did you come up with an answer? I normally think of disappointments. I probably lean on the bitter side but I’m working on it. I unlocked this unsavory memory of myself conditioning an unrealistic expectation that fell short. Why is that? Why is it that this gap between reality and expectation seems to be ever growing? It continues to leave us disappointed, underwhelmed, sometimes overwhelmed and extreme cases depressed.

Expectations often attach illusory conditions that can bring feelings of safety and reassurance about the future, in other words, it can make you feel soft and fuzzy inside when maybe reality isn’t so certain and considering the worst makes your dick soft. In which case expectations can also distract the current reality. With poor historical probability place condition and expectations on people and there actions and then are upset when they don’t match up. It is not easy and you have every right to be upset. I sit before my keyboard seeking answers for this predicament which I so easily fall in. It is now great wizard (google) I seek answers for this vicious cycle. How do you manage your expectations?

This is what I found, so far…

So, how does our brain form these expectations from past events? Well, like most functions in our brain we use prior experiences to help predict what our eyes are absorbing more efficiently. For example, when presented with an abstract image of a panda we are able to deduce that this is indeed an image of a panda, based on prior knowledge (terms and visual representations of a panda). Our brain is able to connect an accurate assumption of the image. These predictions comes with a double-edged sword its called “comparing the past”. If we have experienced something similar in the past it's easy to assume that something similar will happen in the future. This can inhibit you from accurately forming manageable expectations. For example; I have a friend and they invite me for a casual coffee, I say yes, and we agree on a time. I arrive at the coffee place at the agreed time and my friend doesn’t arrive until 30min later. Now, this friend is notoriously late; however, I stubbornly belive she will act out of her character and arrive on time, even though odds are not in that favor… like at all. If I agree to a coffee with that person I must except these possibilities of her being late before I get my panties in a wad. These types of formed expectations can create a predisposed reality. Expecting the best case scenario isn’t a bad thing, keep your head above water, but the belief that you can’t withstand a couple seconds underwater while swimming is a myth. You must allow yourself to see options, not just one dimensional outcomes. Its about being creative with how you deal with challenges, you can see it multidimensionally or you can see it one dimensionally. We imagined a certain outcome, why can’t we imagine the options that reality can presents?

Expectations are part of how we shape the world around us, we have to be able predict somethings to be able to encounter surprises.   However these predictions aid in navigation, they don’t need to come with paranoia, fear, disappointment. They can simply distract from the process of learning, and understanding.  We shouldn’t let expectations assume a false pretense of a predisposed reality. How about, instead, we expect to have to see options and carry the unconditional of love. How about we learn to relax in the uncertainty of reality.